Remember

I am sitting in a coffee shop I have never been to before. Sipping on my Americano, looking out the window watching all the day traffic go by.

Numerous cars.

Lady with a red beanie.

Guy walking fast, phone to ear.

A family of three; mom, dad and toddler.

I smile.

I take another sip of my Americano and think to myself that I will never remember this again, so I need to take in all aspects of this moment.

Orange and red leaves falling.

The pothole in the middle of the road everyone keeps driving over.

Baby blue apartments across the way.

I will forget, so I have to soak in everything.

I look down at what I was originally doing before I got distracted by the window. I see my journal and bible. I smile. Forgetting the little things around me that happened just seconds ago and go back to writing and reading.

You ever choose to forget so that you can ignore the truths of what hurt you? Me too, friend.

Forgetting has become a coping mechanism. I assume I am going to forget the little things because I choose to forget the big things. If I can’t remember, I won’t be affected by the emotions and pain.

I didn’t realize this defense I had been putting up until, believe it or not, I was at a coffee shop. I was reading my bible, and writing about the passage I was reading. I don’t remember what passage I came across but oh do I remember the way I was feeling.

Right after I read the passage, it was like God gently placed these three words in my head that kept repeating all day long. “It is okay.” I didn’t know at the time why I was hearing these words, or what they had to do with anything until that night. I heard those three words again, “It is okay.”

I immediately started talking to God. “Okay, God, what’s okay?”

“Remember.”

“Remember what?”

“Everything.”

“EVERYTHING? Like literally everything that has happened, and everything that is going to continue to happen? Yeah, I’m good.”

Sometimes God can speak to us in such clear ways and we still choose to ignore Him. That’s what I did. I ignored that conversation that I had with God and I went about my weeks. “It is okay” kept playing in the back of my head, but I continued to ignore those three words.

I had been pushing aside every emotion that came with remembering for such a long time, one day, everything came out. I drove past this billboard that triggered a memory, and I immediately started crying. I tried to stop crying, because 1. I was driving and that wasn’t necessarily safe and 2. I didn’t want to feel those emotions, I wanted to store them in the back of my head again, where they had been for such a long time. But unlike previous times this has happened, I wasn’t able to stop and the memories just kept coming. I tried so hard to forget, to stop, but I just couldn’t.

I hear those three words again, “It is okay.”

Angry builds up inside of me.

“IT’S NOT OKAY, GOD.”

Something happened after I said those words, “It’s not okay, God.” This whole time He was trying to tell me that it was, in fact, okay. But I chose to ignore those kind, gentle words of His and kept believing that it was not okay. I kept choosing to forget and continue to ignore those emotions. When all along, He was telling me that it was okay.

Something switched all in that car ride, I actually was trying to remember. Yes, there was endless amounts of pain and emotions, but once I faced those, I was overwhelmed with such peace and joy. “It is okay.” This whole time God was trying get me to my best self. This whole time, God knew exactly what I needed to believe.

You see, it is okay, friends.

When we have a Father who so generously gives us grace. When we have a Father who knows exactly what we need at any given moment. When we have a Father who truly cares about you, and what’s best for you. It is okay.

No emotion, no memory, no pain comes close to who our Father is and what He has planned for your life.

Choose to remember.

Remember the pain, the heartbreak, the lost, the joy, and the laughter.

This was especially hard for me. I had to break the habit of forgetting and choose to remember daily. But when I opened myself up to those memories, to remembering everything, God worked in many ways to provide healing, strength, peace and courage.

It is okay.

I remember.

In the Lion’s Den

9:58am, I made it just in time for my 10am coffee date at my favorite local coffee shop. I walk inside, and find my friend who has already found a table for the both of us. The line to get some fresh coffee is three people deep. I look at my friend, and signal that I am ordering her favorite drink. As I am waiting in line, I think about that morning right before stepping foot into my favorite local coffee shop. I was stressed, I was in a hurry, I barely made it in time, for what? I quickly stopped thinking about it, ordered our coffee, sat down, face to face with my friend with a big smile.

9:59am, again, I made it just in time for my 10am coffee date, at the same favorite local coffee shop. Waited in line, ordered our coffee, sat down, with a big smile.

This has become such a rhythm in my life I forget the “why.”

How many of you feel the need to schedule every free hour you have during the day? All because busy, fast pace, and surface level is “normal”? Me too, friend. Busy has become a rhythm in my life, it distracts me from deep, personable relationships. The ones I actually long for.

Now, let’s look at Daniel’s life from the book of Daniel, chapter 6.

There was a law that was put into affect in the book of Daniel. A law that forbid everyone to stop praying for 30 days. This law was originally put into affect because people were so jealous of Daniel, they wanted to make him look bad in the king’s eyes. When Daniel first heard about this law, what did he do? He went up to his bedroom, got down on his knees and started praying.

If that were me, I would think, “Okay, 30 days, that’s not too long at all. God, You can wait.” But see friends, that’s the thing, we expect God to wait on us. I have the mindset of thinking that 30 days is not a long time, and our relationship will just pick up right where we left off. I mean, it’s the law, right? No big deal.

No. Big. Deal. 

Friends, when we start thinking that way, when we start thinking that 30 days isn’t a big deal, that’s when it becomes a big deal. You see, you’re 100% right. God is, in fact, no doubt in my mind, going to wait for us. Why? We’re too precious to Him.

We start losing sight and forgetting God’s parent-like love for us when we start taking for granted the grace He so generously gives.

We start to say,

“It’s just one time!”

“Man, I messed up again, but He will forgive me!”

“It’s just 30 days!”

I hear you. It’s easy.

Following earthly things is too easy. Especially living in the world we live in today. I struggle with it too. You see, the world defines success by the amount of things you have accomplished in a day. So what do I do? Put more stress on myself. Live a fast pace life. Become surface level because I don’t have time and I am thinking about the next meeting I have to attend. For what cost?

I am losing sleep. Peace. My relationships. Patience. Genuine conversation.

All so I can look at my daily schedule and get satisfied by the amount of things I have accomplished?

The world says stay busy, accomplish more, and you will succeed.

The law in the book of Daniel said to stop praying for 30 days.

How do I become like Daniel? Because Daniel heard the law, went up to his room, and prayed. He heard what the world was saying, and he chose to go against it.

Choosing to go against the world is costly. Losing friends, disappointing family members, stepping away from that year long relationship.

In the book of Daniel, choosing to go against the law almost cost him his life. The law stated that if anyone was caught praying, they would immediately be thrown into the lion’s den. Imagine this, praying to God, and having that result in getting thrown in the lion’s den. I don’t know about you but if that were me and I was thrown into a lion’s den because of praying, I would become so angry and bitter with God. I would tell God why the circumstances should be different.

What did Daniel do? Pray to God.

Daniel still talked to God. 

Not only did Daniel get sent to the lion’s den, but it was dark. He was trapped in the den at night. I now have to think about how I am going to see these lions attack me?! Again, I don’t know about you, but I would freak out. I would go in complete panic mode and try to fix it on my own, instantly. Daniel had so much faith in God all he did was simply talk to God. He prayed to him all night long.

Friends, we serve a God who will shut the mouth of any lion. We often get caught up in trying to shut the mouth of our lion ourselves. We get caught up in thinking about the consequences of choosing to say no to the world. When God will forever trump any “consequence,” relationship, emotion, etc.

And, friends, it is possible to come out of the lion’s den unharmed. The next morning, after they moved the rocks, Daniel comes out, untouched, unharmed, and says, “Oh King, live forever.” 

That is beautiful. Daniel had so much faith in the Lord he seemed to not even fear those lions in that den. And what’s the first thing he does when they moved that rock? He rejoices in the Lord, announcing that the King lives forever.

Daniel, what a great example to live by.

He paints a perfect example of how to not conform to the world and still be in it.

  1. Daniel hears about the law passing, doesn’t phase him, goes up to his room and prays
  2. When Daniel gets thrown into the lion’s den, he doesn’t start freaking out and try to fix the problem on his own, he prayed to God and believed in God’s faithfulness
  3. When Daniel got out of the lion’s den, he doesn’t boast about being unharmed and untouched, the first words out of his mouth was the celebration and rejoicing in the Lord

Daniel had so much confidence in the Lord, no law, no lion, no self pride could stop him and his relationship with Jesus.

Rest has been a lion’s den I keep facing. Conforming to the world means filling my schedule up with endless amounts of meetings and events. Abiding in Him means resting fully in who He is and what He already gives me.

I don’t want to conform.

I want to be like Daniel.

I want Him.

Friends, what if we lived in such a way like Daniel that nothing comes between that precious relationship we have with God? What would that look like in your life?